Thursday, 24 February 2011

change

silly

Wow, sort of left this space hangin' a bit there... so Angus' first week of school went brilliantly. He got up each morning, had his breakfast, then got into his school uniform {and waited} until we could take him there. Drop offs have been easy, he rolls through the motions and happily joins in with his class. Couldn't be easier, really.

I pick him up at home time, and he's content with his day, no grievances being aired. Him and Daisy play nicely for about, say, thirty seconds. Then we're back to niggly normal by the time we get to the car. He comes home and finishes anything that still remains in his snack box or lunch box, while I lean against the bench {just like my mum did} and read or fill out any notices that have come home with him. Then we sit together for ten minutes while he does his reader. The school part's been a breeze.

It's the bit in between that I'm struggling with.

The first week, on the Tuesday and Friday, Daisy doesn't have kinder so it's me and the girls at home; we buzz around and get Angus off the school, then we get home and just look at each other. What now?... Daisy was really grumpy, clingy, and quite lost that first week. I didn't cope will with being the Angus-stand-in, but I also couldn't find any motivation to do my stuff either, so the house was messy, projects at a stand-still, lots of yelling, and clinging, and crying. So much fun, not.

I actually got off my butt and started to look into 'what now'. You know that reality that comes crashing down as your kids start to reach school age, and you realise that you're not going to be their 'complete world' for much longer, and your life completely revolves around them. Sometimes it can be very confronting for me. So the words "what now?" spent a lot of time spinning around my head that week.

This week has been better, and worse. Angus has missed two days of school this week, on top of the Wednesday that they have off anyway. He vomited {in my car!!} on Monday and stayed home, then this morning he was crook in the tummy, so stayed home again. So it's been one of those weeks were most extra-curricular activity has been curtailed. These walls are a-starting to close in on me.

On the up side, Cam agreed that I need just a little me time each day {something that is VERY hard to get} so for the last two days he has walked in the door and taken over dinner duties, while I go and work up a sweat on the treadmill. On. My. Own. ~ bring on those endorphins, I say. Hopefully a bit more of that and my mental outlook will be on the improve.

Next week is looking just as crazy, as Cam is heading off to a fancy overseas destination for work... so needless to say, I'm feeling just a little sorry for myself, that my employer can't afford to send me on a seven day junket to an exotic location.

So that's it. It's gotta get better from here right?... change is just hard.