Thursday, 31 March 2011

ten

ten years

ten years today I have been married to my sweet man. ten years of life together. ten years of countless ups and downs. ten years and only the beginning of the life journey that we both willingly signed up for. ten things:

one :: we met in the summer of 1987. i know this for sure because my grandmother has a letter that i wrote to her while on summer holidays mentioning that i had met him. we were formally introduced after him and his mate {both 14} threw banksia nuts {tree seed pods} at us and declared war. is that where the belief comes from that if a boy is mean to you it's because he secretly likes you?... it wasn't long after that that we became mates and spent the rest of that summer {and many more after} swimming, reading and hanging out.

two :: each year on my birthday cam writes me a lovely poem in my birthday card. he's always done it, and i hope that he always does. the poems are always rhyming verse and are a reflection of our life at that time.

three :: one of the poems that cam wrote me early in our dating years was re-written as song lyrics and sung at our wedding. when i think of our wedding i always think of smiling, the first lines of the song :: you asked me, what i thought of you, on a windy cold dark night, and midst the boom and crash of tin, i think i got it right. i said that i thought lots, and certainly i do, but from a work smith such as i, more should be said of you :: and all of our wonderful family and friends who shares such a happy day with us.

four :: in the years after we met and before we became a couple, he would take me to an extremely posh restaurant for each birthday. he would show up at my parents house in whichever car he was driving {they got better each year or so} and take me on a real grown-up date. he never asked for more, just kept his "hat in the ring" as he says now. in a landscape of school then uni and boyfriends, he was the one constant, classy man in my life. i miss those days a little.

five :: as wonderful as he has been to me as a husband, i had no way of ever knowing what a wonderful father he would be. he is patient and kind to our children, he takes them to kinder, school and extra-curricular events. he revels in playing silly games with them, and listening to their take on life. he patiently explains things to them {even when they move on to other things and have lost interest in the original question}, and he mucks in and helps out with all of the not-so-glamourous jobs that having young kids entails

six :: growing up i always said that i would marry a cook. i was never interested in marrying a chef because i really think that the work hours would be shit, and if they are anything like the plumber and mechanic mates that i've known over the years {and the chefs that i worked with in my uni days} there wouldn't be much inclination to 'work' at home. ie: cook for me and the kids; but marrying a cook was always high on my wish-list. he is a marvelous cook, and while I easily hold my own in the kitchen these days, i am eternally grateful that for the first five years of our marriage he owned the kitchen. he did the shopping and the cooking, he could cook up a five star celebration meal or stick to a shoestring budget when we over-extended ourselves mortgaging two houses. now i just love that if i have an off afternoon and don't feel like cooking, he will walk in from a long day of exercise and work and take to the kitchen with grace. so important is it to both of us to be able to sit down for a home cooked meal together at the end of our day.

seven :: he always backs me. in saying that, i mean that whenever i have a new idea, or a new direction that i think we need to be heading, or i come up with something new that we absolutely must have, he supports me. he's not a pushover or a yes man, but if i've given the matter some thought {which i invariably have} he listens to my reasoning and supports me whole heartedly, so much so that in the end it's hard to remember who the idea actually started with. of course, this can sometimes be a double edged sword, because in hind-sight {ten years of it} some of the decisions that we've made have been terrible, but you know what, i really don't regret any of them, because the things that we learned along the way, together, have made us so much stronger as a unit {and i'm sure will also come in handy when our children are grown so that we can share with them some of the lessons that we have learned {even though i am sure that they will not take heed!}}

eight :: i am so proud of him for getting out of bed each morning and heading our for a swim, ride or run. i married a big man, and i love him, but i remember how much happier and comfortable he was during the years that he was a triathlon 'super star', and how attractive his jaw bones are, i know how hard it is to keep at it, trying to shift a few kilos {i've already fallen off my wagon, but only until next monday i assure you} and each morning when i wake to an empty space next to me all i feel is proud.

nine :: i love that i am married to a man who i find so attractive, i never realised just how much so until the day that angus was born. i remember laying on the operating table, being absolutely terrified of everything that was happening {not least of all actually having our first baby} and seeing him in my peripheral vision, hovering protectively over my shoulder... but when they wrapped angus up, and held him in front of my face so that i could see him, the first thing that i felt was flooding love, soul filling pure love filled my heart, because my little baby looked exactly like his daddy and i knew right then what pure love is, and just how much i loved his daddy's face.

ten :: after ten years of marriage the one word that i would use to describe him would be tender. he has enough for the both of us. in my not so nice moments i have a tendency to be fiery, irritable, angry, and pretty {loudly} passionate, in short i get pissed off and i'm not at all shy about letting him have it {deservedly or not} with both barrels. i love {love, love, love} that he rarely fires back. he just lets me get it out, finds my shouting both endearing and funny, gets the {fucking} point from the tirade, lets me calm down, then works towards an amicable, mutually beneficial solution with me. seriously, does it get better than that?

so ten years. ten full of life years. ten wonderful years. needless to say, i love you babe, happy anniversary!*

and eleven :: i love that you have absolutely no memory, good, bad or otherwise... "hi honey, i'm your wife, jo... we've been married TEN years TODAY!!!!!"