I'll admit, I'm having trouble getting into the holiday vibe this year. I've had my nose stuck in the kindle that I got for Christmas, plenty... and I've been keeping to myself. Truth be told, it's the sort of break that I take when I've not had enough time to myself... I've found 2011 particularly difficult that way, I feel that everyone feels that I get a break because Angus is at school, and Daisy spends time at kinder or my mum has her on a Wednesday afternoon, but I fail to see how still having a full-on 2 year old with me qualifies as having a break. Even now that we are on holiday, and I have my nose stuck in a book, I can still hear them, they are all around me, asking questions and needing attention. So in short, I'm in need of a mental adjustment, and an attitude shift because really nothing will change except for my behavior towards it, right?!?
I'm still holding out for the Chinese new year, on the 24th, as I hold more with that change than the western 1 January new year... So until then, I'll just be hanging in, like I've done all year... and hopefully the changes that I've put in place for 2012 will see me in a happier, more fulfilled place.
2 comments:
Oh Jo, the joys of parenthood, it sometimes feels like you're being sucked dry by the sheer hardwork of bringing up your family. I know how you feel, I've been there. It passes but till then you have to work hard to find some headspace in amongst that family chaos. Sometimes I used to get up in the middle of the night just to do something I'd wanted to do and never got to! Crazy but it made me feel like me. But as my kids tell me I AM CRAZY. ♥
It is hard, I find it really hard to make time for myself. I've realised over the past 6 months that some of my frustration is borne of my own bad habits. I've always done so much for our girls, spoon feeding them so they don't fend for themselves as much as they can and should. I've tried to back off a little and make them try to do more and that helps, a little. I do need personal headspace to just be quiet, or to just do and it's hard to fit it in. I also feel bad about going and doing anything without the family during family time, namely weekends, so I'm my own worst enemy. I read of a lady who went to Gwinganna in Qld for a week of relax and detox. Now I"m not up to that in either terms of time or ready cash, but I'd happily split some house rental somewhere when summer wanes a little and share some headspace!
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